the unconscious ones that can be pictured as being behind the body in the
metaphorical space called the shadow.
If we can see right through someone's persona or mask, we say that
their motivations are "transparent" in a rather negative sense. They have
failed to hide their true, inner self. But if the person at that moment
does not have a mask and is freely revealing their "inner" motivations,
etc., then he or she can be called "transparent" in the positive sense used
by the psychologist Carl Rogers. This usage suggests that, given good faith
between the parties, greater intimacy can be created between them because
they have good information about each other, perhaps including some revelations
about each others' shadows.
So far, these remarks have presumed that people show their bright side
rather than their dark side. But the term "dark side" is ambiguous: occasionally
people show their hard, threatening side to others and keep such potentials
as their affection or their vitality hidden in the dark. We must be careful
not to fall into the trap of assuming that the shadow always hides something
we would not like. Some people keep their light "hidden under a bushel."
It's also true that just facing each other does not by itself bring a good
connection or a positive outcome. Nor does bringing out the content of the
shadow always work well. Being direct and confrontational can result in
conflict ("going head to head with"), perhaps with a bad outcome, as suggested
by the phrase "at daggers drawn." This contrasts with another possible kind
of relationship, one that would be mutual, reciprocal, and a "two-way street."
In that case, for each figure in the drawing, one arrow would represent
give and the other take.
If we as the observers were literally standing between the two figures,
that is, on a line drawn between them, we might say we were "torn between"
them, had "divided loyalties," or were "pulled in both directions." Although
these phrases might even apply when we are off to one side of the interaction,
as we are in this drawing, when you literally stand in between you cannot
look at both people at once; you can't "see both sides of the story" so
easily. One is caught in the middle and needs to step back look for a win-win
solution.
This image also illustrates ethical and spiritual ideas. We are all human
beings and in some sense interchangeable. You are another me. We must learn
to put ourselves in the other person's place (have empathy) and yet keep
separate enough to be clear and helpful (be "objective"). Together these
positions comprise what we mean by compassion. The religious philosopher
Martin Buber said that God is not just "out there" somewhere but instead
emerges from a dialogue between us. This imminent god is complemented
by the idea of a transcendent god that has a god's eye view from outside
the room, as we shall see in the next and final image on the home page.
